last week

...was tiring and stressful.

...was obem's applicants' orientation. i wondered, why is it that people never asked me to prepare a song and sing? hahahahaha. im not that bad. i know how to sing. but i just love to dance and singing is my hidden talent that must remain hidden. :D the partake party team had a fun lunch meeting.

...i tried to finish the paper for our thesis topic. since via was so busy, i tried to be productive and i succeeded! though i wasnt able to finish the whole paper, at least i was able to almost finish it! hahaha. and good thing we finally got our thesis topic approved! go us!

...i was in trinoma twice for two consecutive school days. weird! the mixers had their first walk ins for marketing and we had dinner after. the next day, i was with my BA 105 group mates to check and compare the store layout for bench and penshoppe.

...i was asked for several times (meaning not once, twice or thrice but more) by different people if how's my heart, if i am still single and if i already have someone new. naman! but when i asked them why, they answer me that i look happy. kailangan talaga may lovelife para maging happy??? pero malay nga naman nila sa akin.

...as usual i went home early on a friday. because of law. the prof then didnt feel like giving us the quiz and she didnt even finish discussing all those articles she assigned us to study. did i feel lucky? uhmm. NO! i finished all the articles and i went home early on a friday. tsk. im starting to get use to a no fun friday night kind of life.

...my wifi service went out and i cant open my facebook. so i became very productive. but it rained and my wifi service is back. oh i so love the rain! haha! plus im learning photoshop because i have a deadline for partake party.


the week that was exhausted me and almost killed my sanity. but i enjoyed that week that i realized how it flew so fast. :)



think. realize. let me know.

responsibility

this would be a tough one for me. i dont know where to start. i dont know how to proceed and make things systematic. i didnt know that my dad rust me this much.. but he did and this placed more pressure to me. everyone's eyes are on me now. all of them are watching and waiting for me to make a simple mistake. i hate being an adult for this! =|

but this makes being an adult one hell of funnnn! kalokohan! naughty deed! :))


did this the day after my birthday! hehe!

january twenty nine two thousand and nine.

i ditched my only econ class for this semester today. it's a winnie monsod not to be missed class.

why?..

i just want to.

it wasn't part of the plan. but choosing to made my day complete.

i am already in UP by 9am then i went somewhere to save a life. and risk mine.?.?.

i met the dad.. i wasnt expecting that. i enjoyed the chat.

i also enjoyed the time spent laughing and doing what it was before. i missed everything.

i just realized that i have been depriving myself too much. the deprivation made the craving so bad. that when serving it made my world stop. and i started to breathe again. breathe the air i was breathing way back. what i'm treasuring right now may not be the same story as before but this is still something to be cherished.

the introduction: "the only person who knew everything and stayed with me."

yes. I am happy.




--missed.

spark

that was really unexpected.
that was the first time that it happened to me.
it felt good. but it didnt made me sleep and made me think of what happened.

it was just a joke and it wasnt really meant to be true. but u did made it happen.
i was just sitting in that corner and you came by and blam! it strucked me.

i stopped from what i was doing and digest what had just happened.


:)

this blog is still...

... ALIVE!

i just dont get the luxury to update it. i'd rather waste it to sleep.. if that's called a waste.

ill update this blog soon.. when i can finally breathe and learn to swim in my pool of work.

for now, i can say.. i'm okay. im fine. something new. i think i gained an acquaintance but i lost a friend. it's okay, im getting used to it.

ill be back here soon... :)

oct 20 - reminisce

it is the last day of class. my sem is now officially over! :) i can now have enough(?) sleep and do whatever i want. yehey! free at last!

i had my last exam today for econ 121. for 3 years that i've been in econ, it was the first time that i took a final exam that is not required. i thought the test would be very hard since it will cover 20 chapters but guess what?! it was 15 mins of heaven. hahahaha! plus i got to see **** before the sem ends because he took the finals as well :) lucky me!

hmm.. wouldnt it be wierd if someone you've just met will ask you to have a picture together??
-- just a thought.

later today, i decided to walk around the acad oval, then i remembered some things that shouldnt be remembered. it is batter that way. another flashback came to me, it was an event that im thankful of. that was a night event 3 years ago. all smiles. :)

i missed blogging. this site was empty for more than a month.. ill start my kwento here. :)

Oct 19 - "go go go! makakajackpot k rin!"

...sana nga!

kasi naman pakiramdam ko sobrang nahihirapan ako and parang wala naman nangyayaring matino sa akin. pinipilit kong mag-aral for 121 finals, but i just felt that i wasnt doing enough.

tito brian and tita aileen, the newly weds, came to visit us and greet mom belated. ang dami nilang kwentospecially about their 1st week together then nauwi sa mga kwento ng kung sinu-sino at anu-ano. chismisan to the max oh! bonding ulit kami ni tito brian. wew watched muymuypalaboy sa you tube just to kill time. sila yung mga taong walang magawa at walang ginagawa pero sumisikat at yumayaman! swertihan lang tlga!

Oct 18- spammer spammer

i got a new role to portray now.. "Spammer" galing to kay joms (bully! haha). spammer na nga ako dahil sa dami ng text brig na kailangan kong gawin sa loob n g isang araw. sulit na sulit ang unli and if ever na nakakalakad lang ang fone ko, iniwasan na cguro ako nito. pagkagising pa lang nagttext na ako hanggang sa pagtulog tutunog pa ung fone ko. kung productive na maiituring ang texting, napaka productive kong tao today..

Oct 17- trade off

it's mama's birthday! happy birthday! :)

my brother did the poster


the 121 grades were out today. i'm exempted but i decided to take the finals. i've concentrated too much on econ 131 and i almost forgot that i also have a 121 class plus the fact that every time an exam will be scheduled for this, i also have another 2 exam the day before and a 131 exam the same day or maybe a BA141 case presentation. oh well!

later this day, i bumped into my former up touch rugby team mate. "former" because i've quit on the team because acads was too demanding and i have obem but honestly, i really miss touch rugby. i miss playing. i miss the game. she told me that i shoudnt have left the team and spend my sembreak with them in singapore. ok again... SINGAPORE! i have passed my second year second sem subjects and i am the new director for finance in obem and i missed a number of tournaments and i will be missing a big one in Singapore. haay..

Oct 16- "deleberi"

nakakagulat si kuya delivery boy nung kumatok siya sa pinto. hindi ako dapat magulat kasi alam ko naman na may delivery akong inaantay pero nagulat ako kasi hindi ko alam kung kelan ba darating.

nag-bum lang ako today sa bahay, past 1 na wala pa akong ginagawa. nasa harap lang ako ng pc.. then biglang nagtext c jeme. asking kung pwede ba ako ng 4 pm.. nagulat naman ako eh kc nawala sa utak ko na magkikita nga pla kami if ever na pwede xa. at ayan na. mejo nagpanic na ako kasi 2pm na un eh.. hehe.

at last nagkita na ulit kami! bread talk + dq! at mahabahabang kwentuhan! window shopping again. may isa lang kaming hindi nagawa! umuwi ng sabay! pero okay lang madami pang next time. sobrang namiss ko nga c jeme! :)



Oct 13-14- two days of riding the roller coaster

monday is when the exemption for math 2 was released. thank God! but i still got a long way to go.

it was also our final exam for econ 131, we met Chito, the checker, our saving grace! haha.. but the exam was really exhausting. no exemption for us this time.

and tuesday was the exam for BA 101 under sir zarco. i slept from 9pm to past 12, then i studied all the way upto 3am.. and then i cant sleep.. oh no! i should sleep. i must sleep! but i failed. i went to the exam zombified. but inspired again. hahaha!

Oct 12 - babay

it's lola's 78th birthday today! happy birthday po! (as if she will be able to read this eh noh?!)

i left a friend today. kung titingnan para akong nang-iwan sa ere. but i think he deserve it. after today, no more bestfriend for you. no more savior. no more me. no more him. promise!

today is officially my first working day as an internals committee member. honestly, nataranta ako. nagstart nung nagtext c faye welcoming the fin mems and congratulating me as their director. tpos ayan na c lourd with her super long message of the committee assignment. then came some things to do. out of the 3 things to do, 2 has something to do with me. waah! nagpapanic n ako.. hindi ako prepared. wala nga ako load eh. but everything went well naman. i was texting the whole night ata. haha. it was fun! :)

Oct 7-8 the last two days

i had two exams for tuesday..math 2 and art stud 2 plus a surprise good morning quiz from sir zarco! whew! the execomm called for a special genmeet.. where they gave away free oheya, tempura and cupcakes to the members!

wednesday was the official last day of classes. i had an exam in econ 121.. and i've seen **** again. ayee... inspired!



Oct 4- bowl and dine

...with the fin hot mems in east wood.

it was a well deserved bonding after all the hard and stressful work.

it's me. my first time. haha.

faye.ej.chi.jay.nikko.zel.joms.

dine at serye

fin=fun <3

Oct 3- a super long day

today's the release of breakeven's last issue for first sem. and i think it was a good one now. today is also election day in OBEM. nervous. afraid. hoping...

the night was for Obem's execellence awards led by the acads committee. it was fun filled. full of awards and the winners for the elections was announced! yee...

internals committee for 2nd sem 08-09
malour.nice.zel.joyce.jules.irene. jay(missing)

:)

i also got my first ever OBEM award! thank you! yes it's my very first!

Oct 2 - judgement day

today was our convocation to be an internals committee member. yay! it was a very long day too. i have a reporting for art stud 2 and i have to start the printing for breakeven. and at 4pm was the convoc. it lasted up to 7pm.. answering the questions of obemers and proving them you are sincere and you deserve the spot.

sept 29- where it all started

a year ago, we were there.. i met you there. everything started there. but now, it was nothing. it shouldnt be remembered anyway.

sept 24 - vantage point

to much to say.. it's a success. one thing i've learned. it's enough to say that an event was a success not because of the profits but because of the members's smile and satisfaction.





a great sem indeed.
another sem ends.. and another will start. but it's still early.. rest muna! hahaha! :)

when it rains...

...it Fours.and fours hard.

sabi nila ang blessing daw kapag dumating sunod-sunod. at meron ding version na ang kamalasan daw kapag dumating sunod-sunod din! i can say it's true. well, it happened to me last friday, september 12, which is technically september 11 sa US. i dont know if it was just the date or it's just that it is not my day or one of my not-so-lucky day. i dont know. all i know is that IT SUCKS! CRAP!

i just discovered that it was someone's "happy" day and not mine of course! it hurts to know that. so i slept with bitterness. and then i woke up with a very pleasant text message "i'm sorry but we will cancel..." good morning. and because of this, someone started to panic and called for an emergency meeting with those in the position and explain ourselves. so i end up crying, thinking what went wrong, or is it my fault or what are the things that i should've done but i did not. tulala. then came an econ subject, with the release of the exam that was very hard.. and the result. sigh. then came the nerve wracking meeting. eto lang: nakakatakot sila. and lourd talked to me that made the tears fall hard. jeme wasnt able to go see me. sayang. i need my laptop. oh sh*t! power search? i dont know. one thing for sure. it doesnt want to open. all my files are in there. it's half of my life. tulala again. the only thing i got normally functioning was my cell phone. and at the middle of an important conversation with a tie up, low batt. i transferred the sim to another phone. low batt din. may lovers din na nag-aaway nung araw n un. muntik madapa c joms dahil sa akin, muntik din c topher. hinatid na lang ako ni io pauwi. buti wala nang nangyri.

hindi naman ako naligo ng malas sa araw na yon noh?! ewan ko ba.. ayokong sisihin ang petsang yun. ayoko na lang din idikit sa mga pangyayari ng nakaraan. pero ano ang dahilan ng lahat ng nangyari sa araw na iyon? trials Niya. pero bakit naman po ganun kalupit sa loob pa ng isang araw? madami pa namang araw ah?! hahahahahaha! pilosopo lang po.. senxa na.

::nasa pag-iisip ng tao. kung ano man ang iniisip natin ay siyang maaaring mangyari. dahil inisip natin, ginusto natin iyon..

flight

...fly!

obem <3
(thanks to ate dar for the pic)

i attended the leadership training seminar yesterday that was facilitated by ACT, a group of friends that conduct leadership seminar for free to some schools. i have been very tired and stressed for the past few days but there were no regrets in waking up early on a saturday to attend a whole day seminar. through the seminar and the activities that they prepared for us, i've picked up a lot of things about myself, my friends and my orgmates. one of the activity was named as "the flight" and it was done to point out that in a team, there are times that you have to be the leader but there also times that you have to be a follower. that being in a team, you must work in a give and take relationship for the team to fly. it is always a compromise. we always have our strengths to be used to support other people's weakness and we have our own failures and flaws wherein our teammate must stood up for us. again, everything is a compromise. i teach you, you teach me. it is also an issue of trust. you cant see, im incapacitated. listen to me and you'll be safe. trust. thanks to my partner in that activity. :)

it was also a day where i was exposed to some things that can make or more of break me. it's something that almost stop the momentum i was in. it sucks. it's damn frustrating! i just felt that i'm still not enough. and that questioned the reason why i am doing some things. it also put a period to a long been asked question. the answer: most probably no! not now. and from there, i started questioning myself again, when...? why...? can i do it now? what will i do? how...?i know that my decision will disappoint someone but i have my reasons... and everything will be in His time. maybe there's someone more deserving than i am...that's why.

bakit natatakot lumipad ang sisiw? bakit mahirap para sa kanyang lumipad sa unang pagkakataon kahit na alam niyang may pakpak at makakalipad siya? marahil, ito ay dahil sa oras na lumipad siya maari na siyang mahulog, masaktan at hindi na makabangon pa...

=\ :) :( :-S :'( =|

oh yes.. at last nakapag post din. wierd kasi everyday i go online but i dont really have the luxury of time to post here. well its because i have a toxic life now...

updates/kwento/points learned:

1.) two weeks na akong gumagawa ng case.. everyday ako umuuwi ng 830-9 pm for two consecutive weeks now. this is why my life is toxic. nakaka-exhaust talaga. it is stressful but honestly, im loving my ba141 because of this cases. minsan nga pakiramdam ko adik na ako eh.yaaakkk!

2.) third presenting group kami sa ba 141.. last wednesday dapat nag report na kami at nagpaterrorize sa aming prof.. pero hindi nya kami sinipot last wednesday so na move kami last friday... but for the second time around! no signs of sir Pineda! arrrggghh.. nakakawalang gana talaga! nakakainis ung feeling na kinakabahan ka para sa wala plus the fact pa na naka corporate attire kami.. hassle un! it's not fun to wake up earlier than you should be because you just have to go to school early and prepare for nothing! that's BS! :(

3.) i am tired! as in PAGOD! to the point na hindi na ako nagigising in time for my first class.. which is not so me.. oh Lord! help me with this.. it very unusual of me to be absent dahil lang sa hindi ako nagising..at sana din hindi pasaway ang fone ko :(

4.) im okay now, i guess, pero minsan dinadalaw ako ng sumpong and feel sad but that happens sometimes na lang kaya i think okay na din ako. besides hindi na din naman siya naka permanently offline sa ym ko eh and we now talk the normal way..so maybe im okay now.two facts remains unchanged... miss ko na siya at magaling talaga siya sa timing.he knows when i need him.

5.) having a boyfriend/girlfriend is like having additional 6 units in your work load as a college student.

6.) people who are not in a relationship becomes workaholic because they dont have anyone to give their time to so they use all of their time being productive

7.) i am a workaholic. and now i am asking myself: is it better to have additional 6 units or just be a workaholic? hmmm...

8.) a body at rest remains at rest until a force acts on it. ;) -> a very important lesson learned!

9.) there are some things or people that will not always stay beside you. but can be back beside you sometimes..when you are a friend.

10.) lahat tayo ay makakahanap ng mga katapat natin. mga taong makakapagpatigil sa atin kung hindi kaya ng iba. mga taong gagawin kang tanga kahit anong talino mo pa. mga taong maiituring mong karma. kanya kanyang oras lang yan.

11.) i hate to see a strong lady drop on her knees and cry for a guy. and i then realized how i looked like when i did that pero buti na lang i did that when im alone. i totally feel for you girl, i understand. there's just one thing i dont. pero akin na lang yun to figure out.

12.) ang hina ko pala pumick up ng mga nangyayari sa paligid ko. i thought everything was okay pero hindi pala. im sorry.

13.) i am a loner at times and i do love to walk.. :)

14.) i miss high school and friends. :(

15.) im pissed! hindi ka ba naman mainitindihan ng nanay mo eh?! hindi ko naman ginusto na umuwi ng late for two weeks. at almost a month na kaming hindi in good terms.. but as promised to my dad, ill fix this given the time. :(

16.) tumatakaw na naman ako! tsk.. at nabubuhay ako dahil sa chocolate... baaaaddd!

17.) i have tendencies to oversleep! and it ruins my life! huhuhu.. baaaadddd agen! :-s

18.) loser ako dahil ang tagal ko nang hindi nakakapunta ng mall :( i miss shopping!

18.) panira talaga ng buhay ang academics! dahil kasi jan hindi matutuloy ang hongkong trip ko this august! sh*t naman oh!

19.) white corporate tops are must haves and investments for business students... another loser me! eh kasi naman.. all my corporate tops are pink!

20.) the feeling was once mutual. but it was never of equal weight. :'( unfair pa rin! haha!

buti na lang may blog to let everything out especially at times na wala kang makausap kasi busy sila sa ibang bagay or ibang tao. :(
sa makakabasa: salamat kasi para ka na ring nakinig sakin. :)

"ang bulag nga meron eh..

...ako wala!"

i just remembered this line kanina.. someone said this to me months ago, pertaining to the love life topic.

i said this line to myself while i was walking alone and then i secretly laughed. i laughed because i realized that life was really playful and funny. isnt it ironic that those who cant see the world have a happy love life and us who are completely well have none? kung sino pa ang may maayos at malinaw na mata, at nakikita ang katotohanan ay siya pang mga single sa mundo?... nakakatawa di ba? natatawa din ako dahil totoo ang statement, mabuti pa ang bulag may significant other..ako zero! yun ba ang kapalit dahil nakakakita ako?..kung oo, uhm.. cge okay na rin! isa sa fears ko ay ang mabulag dahil takot ako sa dilim... pero kung pwede kahit isang araw, mabubulag ako.. i guess, ill grab the chance..why not? at least ma-eexperience ko ang feeling...

but seriously, i think the answer to that statement is: kasi kapag bulag ang isang tao, mas malakas ang ibang senses niya kaya mas malakas ang pakiramdam nila so they wont miss out those feelings like being love and the fact pa that being blind disables you to see the imperfections of people and what really matters is what you feel. oha! oha!

dun naman sa nagsabi nito sa akin: alam ko ang sagot kung bakit ikaw wala.. hindi ka nga bulag, maliit lang ang mata mo pero nakakakita ka, pero ikaw ay isa't kalahating pipi at lima't kalahating duwag! hahaha!

at ako: isa't kalahati ding pipi at isa't kalahating t@ng@! too bad... but it's okay...

hahahaha!

best friends

"Best friends"

"...are the ones who are most closest to you..but they do have some quirks compared to "friends"...they are so close to you that they don't ask permission to take something of yours...they take it...they make you laugh until you choke on your own phlegm when your sick...and then laugh about that...they are the ones you can tell your deepest darkest secrets..and they share the burden of that secret..with the gift of laughter....they can see something horrible...as an opportunity spend a great day..and enjoy that darkness..in the lightest way possible....basically...having a a best friend is like an oxymoron...they make you feel the anguishes of life as the most dreamiest things in the world...but no matter..a best friend..always has limits...and sets rules..and loves you like a sister/brother..and cares for you like a mother/father...and teaches you like a grandma/grandpa (even with little experience)..and enjoys spending time together like lovers ..."

but sometimes, i see it as a word that have a "curse" with it because i've known a lot of "best friends" breaking up or are still together but doesn't get tired of fighting..but i'm not saying that it's true for all cases.

which is why i don't label someone my "best friend" but i call the chosen few as my "true friends" and have God as my "best Friend". For years, i never heard someone to call me his/her best friend. well, i guess it's something not to be broad casted but still, being considered as one is an overwhelming feeling. it should be.

i should be. but im not...

...because it was different yesterday. we're not in that boat before. you just made things harder for me. you should have just let me run away and get another life. selfish...


nice role for me to play in your chaotic stage...

and the ball starts to roll (part 2)

a wednesday. i'm not used in having classes at an early wednesday morning but i woke up ahead of my alarm again.. i woke up early but i was almost late for class because of some errands. it's already 8:30 and i was still in the line of the up-katips jeep. and i am so scared to be late for the first class..

ba 141 - prof. pineda:

he's not the guy i was expecting to enter the room. i pictured a decent man in a very corporate attire or even a man in slacks and checkered polo. but an old husky brusko man was in front the class and discussing everything in taglish.. and struck the class with (in my count) six t*ng*n* and three PI early in the morning. harsh! i dont really know if will i be terrified or will i take it as a joke. i dont know if i'll hate him. but he really scares and irritates me. plus he dismissed us late...evil prof???

econ 121- prof. paderanga:

i was not star strucked...but i think he's cute.. a chinito cute prof.. :) hopefully i'll enjoy his class.

lunch break! 11:30- 3 :

i had a free lunch courtesy of faye's birthday blow out! and a serious sem planning with fincom. and after the sem plan... the long wait starts... it seems that the clock isnt running... good thing io was there to bum with me.. maybe because of this long break, i'll hate my wednesdays and fridays. too bad, i still cant fiind someone to bum with me not in the tambayan but somewhere else..

econ 131 - prof. navarro:

finally it's 3pm and hi to susan again! there was only 20 students in the class...and as usual, she said that she's gonna find a checker for the exams and the chicken pox story again! haii! ill get through you again maam! hmf!

it's fun to see my teambuilding classmates again! too bad that i cant stay for long....
it was a rainy afternoon and looooooong lines of people waiting in the terminals of jeepneys.. traffic katipunan and a crowded national bookstore...
im really tired.



it seems that the ball rolled on a rough road on its second day...i am now feeling tired and grumpy.

and the ball starts to roll (part 1)

i woke up earlier than my alarm. 06:06. excited? nah.. it's just because of the rumbling of the people outside my room. then i suddenly realized, im now a third year student. it's the first day of class but i didnt feel like going to school. i stared at the ceiling up to 6:45 thinking what will this day be..

then the ball starts to roll...

ba 101-sir timothy zarco:

i find the class ok. luckily, nice, jason and fred were my classmates. sir zarco is fun and he's
so madaldal that he dismissed us late.. hopefully not every meeting...or else i'll need to get
out of my math 2...oh noo! hahaha.

math 2 -maam joy asuncion:

there is scarcity on toki jeeps now! and it's a big problem (for zel). i was late! arrrgh! not a good one...being late in your classes for the first day!! she checks attendance at the start of the class and have tendencies on giving quizzes at the start of the class..creepy..i cant be late! sir zarco must not go over time! or math2's gonna mess up.. maam asuncion said that my face is VERY MUCH familiar..and asked if i have any relatives in UP and i said no... and when i pass by her at the end of the class, she asked me again, and said SURE KA?! hahaha! what's with my face?!

Lunch break 1130-1! :)

art stud 2 -prof Lopez:

answered prayers. she didnt show up. the classroom was so small that it looks like harry's
cupboard room in the first hp movie to me. a cute classmate. no comment.

the ball starts to roll... and so must I. I should not be left behind. it's hard but there's nothing i can do but to be back in the ball game. and play damn well.