breathe

damn! i miss ranting here. i just need to breathe that's why I'm here.

it feels so good to open this account again.

ill be back to post something sensible here. soon!

:)

make me :)

.you are the butterfly i can't touch.
permanezca justo y hágame me siento alguna magia
:)

clear things for me
let me know.

amp, byebye.

i thought it was a good day.
trying to look at it in a different view, it was a good day.

i thought reliving the past was a good idea.
but it was not. and now i cant even find the right words to fill this space.


i never thought it will end this way.
i never thought that reliving what it used to be will signal the unexpected.

i never thought it would be the last.
too soon.


there will be some things that we cant have like before.
time and decisions change the facts of our lives.


you will still be the goofy one. you never failed to make me laugh that way.
i'll miss seeing that smile. you.

.......

last week

...was tiring and stressful.

...was obem's applicants' orientation. i wondered, why is it that people never asked me to prepare a song and sing? hahahahaha. im not that bad. i know how to sing. but i just love to dance and singing is my hidden talent that must remain hidden. :D the partake party team had a fun lunch meeting.

...i tried to finish the paper for our thesis topic. since via was so busy, i tried to be productive and i succeeded! though i wasnt able to finish the whole paper, at least i was able to almost finish it! hahaha. and good thing we finally got our thesis topic approved! go us!

...i was in trinoma twice for two consecutive school days. weird! the mixers had their first walk ins for marketing and we had dinner after. the next day, i was with my BA 105 group mates to check and compare the store layout for bench and penshoppe.

...i was asked for several times (meaning not once, twice or thrice but more) by different people if how's my heart, if i am still single and if i already have someone new. naman! but when i asked them why, they answer me that i look happy. kailangan talaga may lovelife para maging happy??? pero malay nga naman nila sa akin.

...as usual i went home early on a friday. because of law. the prof then didnt feel like giving us the quiz and she didnt even finish discussing all those articles she assigned us to study. did i feel lucky? uhmm. NO! i finished all the articles and i went home early on a friday. tsk. im starting to get use to a no fun friday night kind of life.

...my wifi service went out and i cant open my facebook. so i became very productive. but it rained and my wifi service is back. oh i so love the rain! haha! plus im learning photoshop because i have a deadline for partake party.


the week that was exhausted me and almost killed my sanity. but i enjoyed that week that i realized how it flew so fast. :)



think. realize. let me know.

1 2 3 4

Give me more loving than I’ve ever had
Make me feel better when I’m feeling sad
Tell me I’m special even though I know I’m not
Make me feel good when I hurt so bad
Barely getting mad
I’m so glad I found you
I love being around you

the song playing for the whole day, nothing special though, i just find the song cute!



~ deeds are enough. i smile a lot but i still cant imagine :)

facebook

classes have already started. but my addiction that started last summer is still on!

Almost all of my friends will agree that facebook is such an addicting networking site. Someone even think that it's a bad influence. it has become a habit that getting rid of it kills! The college even tolerates it because we can open facebook sites, take quizzes, post notes and upload photos during class hours. There was even a time that my thesis partner and I end up doing something on facebook rather than discuss our topic and read essential journals.

what's so fun with it that I open my facebook account more often than check my email?

I DONT KNOW.

if you take a look at it, it seems that there is nothing special or nothing inviting to create a facebook account and be hooked into it. it is a simple site where you can talk and play with your friends, post notes and pictures and take all the silly and useless quizzes in there. that simple!

ADDICTING still!

currently, my favorites are Restaurant City and Texas HoldEm Poker but i also play Pet Society, Yo Ville, Uno and Typing Maniac. I waste my time and be unproductive just to play and visit my facebook account once in a while.



Oh self control, where art thou??

box of chocolate

"Its like rain on your wedding day
Its a free ride when youve already paid
Its the good advice that you just didnt take
Who wouldve thought... it figures.

-Ironic-

all along we feel that things are on their perfect places but then suddenly, life surprises us! then we end up asking "bakit ganito? why at this time pa? akala ko ba okay na?" ewan.

my summer wasn’t a perfect one as it may seem. On dad's last day here, after a long time, I witnessed a fight. My parents fought over something so stupid and they ended up not talking. Frustration came to me. I thought things are okay the whole time that dad's here. All the perfect moments was gone and the worse thing, I can’t understand why that happened and who to blame in destoying my perfect summer. The saddest part, I just kept it all with me and show them that I don’t care. Constantly thinking that im not affected. IM NOT.... i am.

may mga bagay din na hindi ganon kadali makuha kahit akala natin kaya naman. marami daw namamatay sa maling akala, muntik na cguro ako… ang tigas kasi ng ulo ko eh. akala ko kasi pumayag na si mom eh. so ayan, when i got this nice package, bumaliktad ang inaakala kong tahimik n linggo kasama nanay ko. kung pwede lang akong magpalamon s lupa, malamang ginawa ko na. pero umiral ang lawyer-slash-actress me. hindi ako nagpasindak sa nanay ko. as if im not affected. as if i dont hear anything because i kept thinking: i have my reasons why i ask for this package and my reasons are, of course, sensible. so tama ako and i know that i deserve this!

but the guilt never left me. the feeling that i've hurt my mom again (for the nth time) because of my silly decisions. The disappointment I’ve caused her. So this is where I feel ashamed of myself.

But what can I do right? The damage has been done.
no replays. no reverse.no turning back.

i just have to accept, be firm and try to make the next a perfect or the right one, at least.
SMILE :)

responsibility

this would be a tough one for me. i dont know where to start. i dont know how to proceed and make things systematic. i didnt know that my dad rust me this much.. but he did and this placed more pressure to me. everyone's eyes are on me now. all of them are watching and waiting for me to make a simple mistake. i hate being an adult for this! =|

but this makes being an adult one hell of funnnn! kalokohan! naughty deed! :))


did this the day after my birthday! hehe!

twenteen

my age doesnt start with the number 1 but my age could still end with a TEEN :)

i dont know but i suddenly felt the difference...


happy birthday to me :)

officially over

...of many stuffs.

my second semester ended. 04.01.09

one blast of a sem. tired, i am. but i did learn a lot not just academically but about my self and my friends. i was able to gain new friends and rich experiences. a sem of cases and of course how will i forget-- MARKETING PLAN! a terrifying but fruitful sem with maam monsod. honestly, im struggling this sem i dont know why. maybe i need a rest.

my third year ended. 04.01.09

it's been a fun and fruitful year. i've known a lot of people and diversified my circle. i've became close to more people and farther to my old friends. i've matured a lot. im afraid now of what will my 4th year be.

my directorship ended. 03.24.09

the special genmeet happened. turnover na to the new set of officers. i have uploaded my last financial statement. and passed the internals pouch to migs. i kinda felt sad because i know that i was given the chance to be there but i didnt even fight for that chance. i'm an ordinary member again and ill miss my inte loves. :(

the fourth years are graduating.03.30.09

the batch im closest to. i have build many relatioships with them. i have a lot of fun memories too. ill miss them. ates.kuyas.crushes.lola.mommy.dude.kapatid. love love!

the feeling ended. unknown date.
yeah. im over him. i just felt light free and happy. but good thing we remained friends. :)

time for rest now. :)

january twenty nine two thousand and nine.

i ditched my only econ class for this semester today. it's a winnie monsod not to be missed class.

why?..

i just want to.

it wasn't part of the plan. but choosing to made my day complete.

i am already in UP by 9am then i went somewhere to save a life. and risk mine.?.?.

i met the dad.. i wasnt expecting that. i enjoyed the chat.

i also enjoyed the time spent laughing and doing what it was before. i missed everything.

i just realized that i have been depriving myself too much. the deprivation made the craving so bad. that when serving it made my world stop. and i started to breathe again. breathe the air i was breathing way back. what i'm treasuring right now may not be the same story as before but this is still something to be cherished.

the introduction: "the only person who knew everything and stayed with me."

yes. I am happy.




--missed.

my baguio adventures

i was able to stay in baguio for two weeks. i was there last december 20-22, 2008 with tita chito, tito jaime, jay, jamie and tanya. then we went there again to celebrate the new year, we were there decmber 30 2008 to january 2, 2009! this time with auntie zen, tito john, daddy aldwin and ate ces.

with those times, i can say that i was able to rest and think. think about all thise things that happened in my life. how fast things were going for me. i was able to see those things that i have been missing. finally, i was able to get a life! the life that i want!