amp, byebye.

i thought it was a good day.
trying to look at it in a different view, it was a good day.

i thought reliving the past was a good idea.
but it was not. and now i cant even find the right words to fill this space.


i never thought it will end this way.
i never thought that reliving what it used to be will signal the unexpected.

i never thought it would be the last.
too soon.


there will be some things that we cant have like before.
time and decisions change the facts of our lives.


you will still be the goofy one. you never failed to make me laugh that way.
i'll miss seeing that smile. you.

.......

last week

...was tiring and stressful.

...was obem's applicants' orientation. i wondered, why is it that people never asked me to prepare a song and sing? hahahahaha. im not that bad. i know how to sing. but i just love to dance and singing is my hidden talent that must remain hidden. :D the partake party team had a fun lunch meeting.

...i tried to finish the paper for our thesis topic. since via was so busy, i tried to be productive and i succeeded! though i wasnt able to finish the whole paper, at least i was able to almost finish it! hahaha. and good thing we finally got our thesis topic approved! go us!

...i was in trinoma twice for two consecutive school days. weird! the mixers had their first walk ins for marketing and we had dinner after. the next day, i was with my BA 105 group mates to check and compare the store layout for bench and penshoppe.

...i was asked for several times (meaning not once, twice or thrice but more) by different people if how's my heart, if i am still single and if i already have someone new. naman! but when i asked them why, they answer me that i look happy. kailangan talaga may lovelife para maging happy??? pero malay nga naman nila sa akin.

...as usual i went home early on a friday. because of law. the prof then didnt feel like giving us the quiz and she didnt even finish discussing all those articles she assigned us to study. did i feel lucky? uhmm. NO! i finished all the articles and i went home early on a friday. tsk. im starting to get use to a no fun friday night kind of life.

...my wifi service went out and i cant open my facebook. so i became very productive. but it rained and my wifi service is back. oh i so love the rain! haha! plus im learning photoshop because i have a deadline for partake party.


the week that was exhausted me and almost killed my sanity. but i enjoyed that week that i realized how it flew so fast. :)



think. realize. let me know.

box of chocolate

"Its like rain on your wedding day
Its a free ride when youve already paid
Its the good advice that you just didnt take
Who wouldve thought... it figures.

-Ironic-

all along we feel that things are on their perfect places but then suddenly, life surprises us! then we end up asking "bakit ganito? why at this time pa? akala ko ba okay na?" ewan.

my summer wasn’t a perfect one as it may seem. On dad's last day here, after a long time, I witnessed a fight. My parents fought over something so stupid and they ended up not talking. Frustration came to me. I thought things are okay the whole time that dad's here. All the perfect moments was gone and the worse thing, I can’t understand why that happened and who to blame in destoying my perfect summer. The saddest part, I just kept it all with me and show them that I don’t care. Constantly thinking that im not affected. IM NOT.... i am.

may mga bagay din na hindi ganon kadali makuha kahit akala natin kaya naman. marami daw namamatay sa maling akala, muntik na cguro ako… ang tigas kasi ng ulo ko eh. akala ko kasi pumayag na si mom eh. so ayan, when i got this nice package, bumaliktad ang inaakala kong tahimik n linggo kasama nanay ko. kung pwede lang akong magpalamon s lupa, malamang ginawa ko na. pero umiral ang lawyer-slash-actress me. hindi ako nagpasindak sa nanay ko. as if im not affected. as if i dont hear anything because i kept thinking: i have my reasons why i ask for this package and my reasons are, of course, sensible. so tama ako and i know that i deserve this!

but the guilt never left me. the feeling that i've hurt my mom again (for the nth time) because of my silly decisions. The disappointment I’ve caused her. So this is where I feel ashamed of myself.

But what can I do right? The damage has been done.
no replays. no reverse.no turning back.

i just have to accept, be firm and try to make the next a perfect or the right one, at least.
SMILE :)

i know the answer.

paano magiging tama kung umpisa pa lang ay mali na. pano pa sa susunod?

ngayon alam ko na kung bakit.


frustrating.

**if only i can get out of this... i will. right now! =/

"ang bulag nga meron eh..

...ako wala!"

i just remembered this line kanina.. someone said this to me months ago, pertaining to the love life topic.

i said this line to myself while i was walking alone and then i secretly laughed. i laughed because i realized that life was really playful and funny. isnt it ironic that those who cant see the world have a happy love life and us who are completely well have none? kung sino pa ang may maayos at malinaw na mata, at nakikita ang katotohanan ay siya pang mga single sa mundo?... nakakatawa di ba? natatawa din ako dahil totoo ang statement, mabuti pa ang bulag may significant other..ako zero! yun ba ang kapalit dahil nakakakita ako?..kung oo, uhm.. cge okay na rin! isa sa fears ko ay ang mabulag dahil takot ako sa dilim... pero kung pwede kahit isang araw, mabubulag ako.. i guess, ill grab the chance..why not? at least ma-eexperience ko ang feeling...

but seriously, i think the answer to that statement is: kasi kapag bulag ang isang tao, mas malakas ang ibang senses niya kaya mas malakas ang pakiramdam nila so they wont miss out those feelings like being love and the fact pa that being blind disables you to see the imperfections of people and what really matters is what you feel. oha! oha!

dun naman sa nagsabi nito sa akin: alam ko ang sagot kung bakit ikaw wala.. hindi ka nga bulag, maliit lang ang mata mo pero nakakakita ka, pero ikaw ay isa't kalahating pipi at lima't kalahating duwag! hahaha!

at ako: isa't kalahati ding pipi at isa't kalahating t@ng@! too bad... but it's okay...

hahahaha!

different

we went to see manila ocean adventure park today..and even though i am so tired..i didnt take any minute thinking if i have to get up from bed or not..haha..the place was great..though it was not what i expected or maybe i expected more.. but i can say that it as an enjoyable experience... :)

this picture was taken inside the souvenir shop in the ocean park..it was used for the 3d picture package that the shop was offering for 400php.. there was something different with the picture..i just dont know why..i just felt something different.. we decided to get a soft copy from the photographer because the five of us wanted to have a copy of it in our own phones...hehe..

almost everything has changed..the way things run and the way we look at things inside this "family" and things will never be the same again..we tried but we always fail or sometimes when we push things harder it just gets worse..small things like this picture are is a big part of the change, i guess..i never experienced something like this when we all stayed under one roof.. and sometimes because of those changes, conflicts arise that just passes by and ends without closure.. everyone, i think, have recovered and have accepted the way things are though it was never easy, sometimes awkward and we have to be thankful even of small things like this "family portrait".. haha.

"family portrait"

--how ironic?! ;)