breathe

damn! i miss ranting here. i just need to breathe that's why I'm here.

it feels so good to open this account again.

ill be back to post something sensible here. soon!

:)

i know the answer.

paano magiging tama kung umpisa pa lang ay mali na. pano pa sa susunod?

ngayon alam ko na kung bakit.


frustrating.

**if only i can get out of this... i will. right now! =/

half way..

..there.

half way my hell week. half way to the end of this hell semester. half way fixing a life.

thank God that i'm halfway to the end of this one hell of a sem... buti na lang umabot pa ako sa kalahati. and i think.. it's so far so good.. not until the results of all my exams slap on my face. (wag naman sana) kalahati pa lang exhausted na ako.. the past few days nga feeling ko zombie na lang ako, binubuhay ng coffee at chocolates.. and lagi na lang akong may sakit. pati ata pagiging late ay naging sakit ko din for the week that was. kaya sana gumaling na ako sa sakit na yan...nakamamatay!

half way the past week nasabi ko lang bigla: "ang hirap maging tao at ang hirap magpanggap bilang isang masipag at matalinong tao!" hahahaha! oo nasabi ko talaga yan dahil sobrang frustrated at stressed na ako...nagbreak down din ako! at hindi ko alam kung bakit, i just felt sooo tired and feeling ko ung stress level ko ay somewhere up up up there! so ayun nag break down n lang ako..and to make my self feel better, i texted jeme. kahit isang text lang ok na! namiss ko lang :)

im just half way fixing my life but then it's mixing up again..alam kong may nagtatampo sa akin dahil sa ginagawa ko but still i MUST value my self more than any thing else so maybe.. ill put you at the end of my "to fix" list. for now, all i can do is to be an isnabera. (here comes my brat side! but i love it!)

no room for giving up
ill cross the finish line. :)

last log in...

...53 minutes ago..

there are just certain things that are better off unknown. things you wish you never asked, never saw, never heard and sometimes never even felt....

best friends

"Best friends"

"...are the ones who are most closest to you..but they do have some quirks compared to "friends"...they are so close to you that they don't ask permission to take something of yours...they take it...they make you laugh until you choke on your own phlegm when your sick...and then laugh about that...they are the ones you can tell your deepest darkest secrets..and they share the burden of that secret..with the gift of laughter....they can see something horrible...as an opportunity spend a great day..and enjoy that darkness..in the lightest way possible....basically...having a a best friend is like an oxymoron...they make you feel the anguishes of life as the most dreamiest things in the world...but no matter..a best friend..always has limits...and sets rules..and loves you like a sister/brother..and cares for you like a mother/father...and teaches you like a grandma/grandpa (even with little experience)..and enjoys spending time together like lovers ..."

but sometimes, i see it as a word that have a "curse" with it because i've known a lot of "best friends" breaking up or are still together but doesn't get tired of fighting..but i'm not saying that it's true for all cases.

which is why i don't label someone my "best friend" but i call the chosen few as my "true friends" and have God as my "best Friend". For years, i never heard someone to call me his/her best friend. well, i guess it's something not to be broad casted but still, being considered as one is an overwhelming feeling. it should be.

i should be. but im not...

...because it was different yesterday. we're not in that boat before. you just made things harder for me. you should have just let me run away and get another life. selfish...


nice role for me to play in your chaotic stage...