another page

i am officially leaving this blog today.


ill be moving into a new one when i find the time to design another site. when i finally get a life. my life.


Thank you blogspot. :)


and see you around.


--zel.

breathe

damn! i miss ranting here. i just need to breathe that's why I'm here.

it feels so good to open this account again.

ill be back to post something sensible here. soon!

:)

make me :)

.you are the butterfly i can't touch.
permanezca justo y hágame me siento alguna magia
:)

clear things for me
let me know.

amp, byebye.

i thought it was a good day.
trying to look at it in a different view, it was a good day.

i thought reliving the past was a good idea.
but it was not. and now i cant even find the right words to fill this space.


i never thought it will end this way.
i never thought that reliving what it used to be will signal the unexpected.

i never thought it would be the last.
too soon.


there will be some things that we cant have like before.
time and decisions change the facts of our lives.


you will still be the goofy one. you never failed to make me laugh that way.
i'll miss seeing that smile. you.

.......

last week

...was tiring and stressful.

...was obem's applicants' orientation. i wondered, why is it that people never asked me to prepare a song and sing? hahahahaha. im not that bad. i know how to sing. but i just love to dance and singing is my hidden talent that must remain hidden. :D the partake party team had a fun lunch meeting.

...i tried to finish the paper for our thesis topic. since via was so busy, i tried to be productive and i succeeded! though i wasnt able to finish the whole paper, at least i was able to almost finish it! hahaha. and good thing we finally got our thesis topic approved! go us!

...i was in trinoma twice for two consecutive school days. weird! the mixers had their first walk ins for marketing and we had dinner after. the next day, i was with my BA 105 group mates to check and compare the store layout for bench and penshoppe.

...i was asked for several times (meaning not once, twice or thrice but more) by different people if how's my heart, if i am still single and if i already have someone new. naman! but when i asked them why, they answer me that i look happy. kailangan talaga may lovelife para maging happy??? pero malay nga naman nila sa akin.

...as usual i went home early on a friday. because of law. the prof then didnt feel like giving us the quiz and she didnt even finish discussing all those articles she assigned us to study. did i feel lucky? uhmm. NO! i finished all the articles and i went home early on a friday. tsk. im starting to get use to a no fun friday night kind of life.

...my wifi service went out and i cant open my facebook. so i became very productive. but it rained and my wifi service is back. oh i so love the rain! haha! plus im learning photoshop because i have a deadline for partake party.


the week that was exhausted me and almost killed my sanity. but i enjoyed that week that i realized how it flew so fast. :)



think. realize. let me know.

1 2 3 4

Give me more loving than I’ve ever had
Make me feel better when I’m feeling sad
Tell me I’m special even though I know I’m not
Make me feel good when I hurt so bad
Barely getting mad
I’m so glad I found you
I love being around you

the song playing for the whole day, nothing special though, i just find the song cute!



~ deeds are enough. i smile a lot but i still cant imagine :)

facebook

classes have already started. but my addiction that started last summer is still on!

Almost all of my friends will agree that facebook is such an addicting networking site. Someone even think that it's a bad influence. it has become a habit that getting rid of it kills! The college even tolerates it because we can open facebook sites, take quizzes, post notes and upload photos during class hours. There was even a time that my thesis partner and I end up doing something on facebook rather than discuss our topic and read essential journals.

what's so fun with it that I open my facebook account more often than check my email?

I DONT KNOW.

if you take a look at it, it seems that there is nothing special or nothing inviting to create a facebook account and be hooked into it. it is a simple site where you can talk and play with your friends, post notes and pictures and take all the silly and useless quizzes in there. that simple!

ADDICTING still!

currently, my favorites are Restaurant City and Texas HoldEm Poker but i also play Pet Society, Yo Ville, Uno and Typing Maniac. I waste my time and be unproductive just to play and visit my facebook account once in a while.



Oh self control, where art thou??

box of chocolate

"Its like rain on your wedding day
Its a free ride when youve already paid
Its the good advice that you just didnt take
Who wouldve thought... it figures.

-Ironic-

all along we feel that things are on their perfect places but then suddenly, life surprises us! then we end up asking "bakit ganito? why at this time pa? akala ko ba okay na?" ewan.

my summer wasn’t a perfect one as it may seem. On dad's last day here, after a long time, I witnessed a fight. My parents fought over something so stupid and they ended up not talking. Frustration came to me. I thought things are okay the whole time that dad's here. All the perfect moments was gone and the worse thing, I can’t understand why that happened and who to blame in destoying my perfect summer. The saddest part, I just kept it all with me and show them that I don’t care. Constantly thinking that im not affected. IM NOT.... i am.

may mga bagay din na hindi ganon kadali makuha kahit akala natin kaya naman. marami daw namamatay sa maling akala, muntik na cguro ako… ang tigas kasi ng ulo ko eh. akala ko kasi pumayag na si mom eh. so ayan, when i got this nice package, bumaliktad ang inaakala kong tahimik n linggo kasama nanay ko. kung pwede lang akong magpalamon s lupa, malamang ginawa ko na. pero umiral ang lawyer-slash-actress me. hindi ako nagpasindak sa nanay ko. as if im not affected. as if i dont hear anything because i kept thinking: i have my reasons why i ask for this package and my reasons are, of course, sensible. so tama ako and i know that i deserve this!

but the guilt never left me. the feeling that i've hurt my mom again (for the nth time) because of my silly decisions. The disappointment I’ve caused her. So this is where I feel ashamed of myself.

But what can I do right? The damage has been done.
no replays. no reverse.no turning back.

i just have to accept, be firm and try to make the next a perfect or the right one, at least.
SMILE :)

responsibility

this would be a tough one for me. i dont know where to start. i dont know how to proceed and make things systematic. i didnt know that my dad rust me this much.. but he did and this placed more pressure to me. everyone's eyes are on me now. all of them are watching and waiting for me to make a simple mistake. i hate being an adult for this! =|

but this makes being an adult one hell of funnnn! kalokohan! naughty deed! :))


did this the day after my birthday! hehe!

twenteen

my age doesnt start with the number 1 but my age could still end with a TEEN :)

i dont know but i suddenly felt the difference...


happy birthday to me :)

officially over

...of many stuffs.

my second semester ended. 04.01.09

one blast of a sem. tired, i am. but i did learn a lot not just academically but about my self and my friends. i was able to gain new friends and rich experiences. a sem of cases and of course how will i forget-- MARKETING PLAN! a terrifying but fruitful sem with maam monsod. honestly, im struggling this sem i dont know why. maybe i need a rest.

my third year ended. 04.01.09

it's been a fun and fruitful year. i've known a lot of people and diversified my circle. i've became close to more people and farther to my old friends. i've matured a lot. im afraid now of what will my 4th year be.

my directorship ended. 03.24.09

the special genmeet happened. turnover na to the new set of officers. i have uploaded my last financial statement. and passed the internals pouch to migs. i kinda felt sad because i know that i was given the chance to be there but i didnt even fight for that chance. i'm an ordinary member again and ill miss my inte loves. :(

the fourth years are graduating.03.30.09

the batch im closest to. i have build many relatioships with them. i have a lot of fun memories too. ill miss them. ates.kuyas.crushes.lola.mommy.dude.kapatid. love love!

the feeling ended. unknown date.
yeah. im over him. i just felt light free and happy. but good thing we remained friends. :)

time for rest now. :)

january twenty nine two thousand and nine.

i ditched my only econ class for this semester today. it's a winnie monsod not to be missed class.

why?..

i just want to.

it wasn't part of the plan. but choosing to made my day complete.

i am already in UP by 9am then i went somewhere to save a life. and risk mine.?.?.

i met the dad.. i wasnt expecting that. i enjoyed the chat.

i also enjoyed the time spent laughing and doing what it was before. i missed everything.

i just realized that i have been depriving myself too much. the deprivation made the craving so bad. that when serving it made my world stop. and i started to breathe again. breathe the air i was breathing way back. what i'm treasuring right now may not be the same story as before but this is still something to be cherished.

the introduction: "the only person who knew everything and stayed with me."

yes. I am happy.




--missed.

my baguio adventures

i was able to stay in baguio for two weeks. i was there last december 20-22, 2008 with tita chito, tito jaime, jay, jamie and tanya. then we went there again to celebrate the new year, we were there decmber 30 2008 to january 2, 2009! this time with auntie zen, tito john, daddy aldwin and ate ces.

with those times, i can say that i was able to rest and think. think about all thise things that happened in my life. how fast things were going for me. i was able to see those things that i have been missing. finally, i was able to get a life! the life that i want!

spark

that was really unexpected.
that was the first time that it happened to me.
it felt good. but it didnt made me sleep and made me think of what happened.

it was just a joke and it wasnt really meant to be true. but u did made it happen.
i was just sitting in that corner and you came by and blam! it strucked me.

i stopped from what i was doing and digest what had just happened.


:)

not in the mood to study

Your rainbow is intensely shaded green, blue, and orange.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What is says about you: You are a tranquil person. You feel strong ties to nature and your mood changes with its cycles. Those around you admire your fresh outlook and vitality. Others are amazed at how you don't give up.

Find the colors of your rainbow at spacefem.com.

i know the answer.

paano magiging tama kung umpisa pa lang ay mali na. pano pa sa susunod?

ngayon alam ko na kung bakit.


frustrating.

**if only i can get out of this... i will. right now! =/

this blog is still...

... ALIVE!

i just dont get the luxury to update it. i'd rather waste it to sleep.. if that's called a waste.

ill update this blog soon.. when i can finally breathe and learn to swim in my pool of work.

for now, i can say.. i'm okay. im fine. something new. i think i gained an acquaintance but i lost a friend. it's okay, im getting used to it.

ill be back here soon... :)

oct 20 - reminisce

it is the last day of class. my sem is now officially over! :) i can now have enough(?) sleep and do whatever i want. yehey! free at last!

i had my last exam today for econ 121. for 3 years that i've been in econ, it was the first time that i took a final exam that is not required. i thought the test would be very hard since it will cover 20 chapters but guess what?! it was 15 mins of heaven. hahahaha! plus i got to see **** before the sem ends because he took the finals as well :) lucky me!

hmm.. wouldnt it be wierd if someone you've just met will ask you to have a picture together??
-- just a thought.

later today, i decided to walk around the acad oval, then i remembered some things that shouldnt be remembered. it is batter that way. another flashback came to me, it was an event that im thankful of. that was a night event 3 years ago. all smiles. :)

i missed blogging. this site was empty for more than a month.. ill start my kwento here. :)

Oct 19 - "go go go! makakajackpot k rin!"

...sana nga!

kasi naman pakiramdam ko sobrang nahihirapan ako and parang wala naman nangyayaring matino sa akin. pinipilit kong mag-aral for 121 finals, but i just felt that i wasnt doing enough.

tito brian and tita aileen, the newly weds, came to visit us and greet mom belated. ang dami nilang kwentospecially about their 1st week together then nauwi sa mga kwento ng kung sinu-sino at anu-ano. chismisan to the max oh! bonding ulit kami ni tito brian. wew watched muymuypalaboy sa you tube just to kill time. sila yung mga taong walang magawa at walang ginagawa pero sumisikat at yumayaman! swertihan lang tlga!

Oct 18- spammer spammer

i got a new role to portray now.. "Spammer" galing to kay joms (bully! haha). spammer na nga ako dahil sa dami ng text brig na kailangan kong gawin sa loob n g isang araw. sulit na sulit ang unli and if ever na nakakalakad lang ang fone ko, iniwasan na cguro ako nito. pagkagising pa lang nagttext na ako hanggang sa pagtulog tutunog pa ung fone ko. kung productive na maiituring ang texting, napaka productive kong tao today..

Oct 17- trade off

it's mama's birthday! happy birthday! :)

my brother did the poster


the 121 grades were out today. i'm exempted but i decided to take the finals. i've concentrated too much on econ 131 and i almost forgot that i also have a 121 class plus the fact that every time an exam will be scheduled for this, i also have another 2 exam the day before and a 131 exam the same day or maybe a BA141 case presentation. oh well!

later this day, i bumped into my former up touch rugby team mate. "former" because i've quit on the team because acads was too demanding and i have obem but honestly, i really miss touch rugby. i miss playing. i miss the game. she told me that i shoudnt have left the team and spend my sembreak with them in singapore. ok again... SINGAPORE! i have passed my second year second sem subjects and i am the new director for finance in obem and i missed a number of tournaments and i will be missing a big one in Singapore. haay..

Oct 16- "deleberi"

nakakagulat si kuya delivery boy nung kumatok siya sa pinto. hindi ako dapat magulat kasi alam ko naman na may delivery akong inaantay pero nagulat ako kasi hindi ko alam kung kelan ba darating.

nag-bum lang ako today sa bahay, past 1 na wala pa akong ginagawa. nasa harap lang ako ng pc.. then biglang nagtext c jeme. asking kung pwede ba ako ng 4 pm.. nagulat naman ako eh kc nawala sa utak ko na magkikita nga pla kami if ever na pwede xa. at ayan na. mejo nagpanic na ako kasi 2pm na un eh.. hehe.

at last nagkita na ulit kami! bread talk + dq! at mahabahabang kwentuhan! window shopping again. may isa lang kaming hindi nagawa! umuwi ng sabay! pero okay lang madami pang next time. sobrang namiss ko nga c jeme! :)



Oct 13-14- two days of riding the roller coaster

monday is when the exemption for math 2 was released. thank God! but i still got a long way to go.

it was also our final exam for econ 131, we met Chito, the checker, our saving grace! haha.. but the exam was really exhausting. no exemption for us this time.

and tuesday was the exam for BA 101 under sir zarco. i slept from 9pm to past 12, then i studied all the way upto 3am.. and then i cant sleep.. oh no! i should sleep. i must sleep! but i failed. i went to the exam zombified. but inspired again. hahaha!

Oct 12 - babay

it's lola's 78th birthday today! happy birthday po! (as if she will be able to read this eh noh?!)

i left a friend today. kung titingnan para akong nang-iwan sa ere. but i think he deserve it. after today, no more bestfriend for you. no more savior. no more me. no more him. promise!

today is officially my first working day as an internals committee member. honestly, nataranta ako. nagstart nung nagtext c faye welcoming the fin mems and congratulating me as their director. tpos ayan na c lourd with her super long message of the committee assignment. then came some things to do. out of the 3 things to do, 2 has something to do with me. waah! nagpapanic n ako.. hindi ako prepared. wala nga ako load eh. but everything went well naman. i was texting the whole night ata. haha. it was fun! :)

Oct 7-8 the last two days

i had two exams for tuesday..math 2 and art stud 2 plus a surprise good morning quiz from sir zarco! whew! the execomm called for a special genmeet.. where they gave away free oheya, tempura and cupcakes to the members!

wednesday was the official last day of classes. i had an exam in econ 121.. and i've seen **** again. ayee... inspired!



Oct 4- bowl and dine

...with the fin hot mems in east wood.

it was a well deserved bonding after all the hard and stressful work.

it's me. my first time. haha.

faye.ej.chi.jay.nikko.zel.joms.

dine at serye

fin=fun <3

Oct 3- a super long day

today's the release of breakeven's last issue for first sem. and i think it was a good one now. today is also election day in OBEM. nervous. afraid. hoping...

the night was for Obem's execellence awards led by the acads committee. it was fun filled. full of awards and the winners for the elections was announced! yee...

internals committee for 2nd sem 08-09
malour.nice.zel.joyce.jules.irene. jay(missing)

:)

i also got my first ever OBEM award! thank you! yes it's my very first!

Oct 2 - judgement day

today was our convocation to be an internals committee member. yay! it was a very long day too. i have a reporting for art stud 2 and i have to start the printing for breakeven. and at 4pm was the convoc. it lasted up to 7pm.. answering the questions of obemers and proving them you are sincere and you deserve the spot.

sept 29- where it all started

a year ago, we were there.. i met you there. everything started there. but now, it was nothing. it shouldnt be remembered anyway.

sept 24 - vantage point

to much to say.. it's a success. one thing i've learned. it's enough to say that an event was a success not because of the profits but because of the members's smile and satisfaction.





a great sem indeed.
another sem ends.. and another will start. but it's still early.. rest muna! hahaha! :)

dreams and nightmares

a dream: nasa elevated akong lugar na konting maling tapak ay maari kang mahulog pero hindi naman ito masyadong mataas. kaya parang ang iniisip ko okay lang ang mahulog. hindi ka naman mamatay. tapos pagkakita ko sa paanan ko, nakalambitin dun ang isang taong importante sa akin, at kitang kita ko na antatakot syang mahulog at halos umiiyak na siya..kaya ginawa ko lahat para iangat sya dun, pero ang sabi ko bakit parang nagpapabigat siya?? at nung halos kalahati na ng katawan nya ung nakaangat...... bigla syang bumitaw.

minsan lang ako makaalala ng panaginip, hindi ko pa maintindihan.

lately, i've realized that i am in a nightmare. i've been doing things that are not in favor of my hapiness. i think im hurting my self..

when it rains...

...it Fours.and fours hard.

sabi nila ang blessing daw kapag dumating sunod-sunod. at meron ding version na ang kamalasan daw kapag dumating sunod-sunod din! i can say it's true. well, it happened to me last friday, september 12, which is technically september 11 sa US. i dont know if it was just the date or it's just that it is not my day or one of my not-so-lucky day. i dont know. all i know is that IT SUCKS! CRAP!

i just discovered that it was someone's "happy" day and not mine of course! it hurts to know that. so i slept with bitterness. and then i woke up with a very pleasant text message "i'm sorry but we will cancel..." good morning. and because of this, someone started to panic and called for an emergency meeting with those in the position and explain ourselves. so i end up crying, thinking what went wrong, or is it my fault or what are the things that i should've done but i did not. tulala. then came an econ subject, with the release of the exam that was very hard.. and the result. sigh. then came the nerve wracking meeting. eto lang: nakakatakot sila. and lourd talked to me that made the tears fall hard. jeme wasnt able to go see me. sayang. i need my laptop. oh sh*t! power search? i dont know. one thing for sure. it doesnt want to open. all my files are in there. it's half of my life. tulala again. the only thing i got normally functioning was my cell phone. and at the middle of an important conversation with a tie up, low batt. i transferred the sim to another phone. low batt din. may lovers din na nag-aaway nung araw n un. muntik madapa c joms dahil sa akin, muntik din c topher. hinatid na lang ako ni io pauwi. buti wala nang nangyri.

hindi naman ako naligo ng malas sa araw na yon noh?! ewan ko ba.. ayokong sisihin ang petsang yun. ayoko na lang din idikit sa mga pangyayari ng nakaraan. pero ano ang dahilan ng lahat ng nangyari sa araw na iyon? trials Niya. pero bakit naman po ganun kalupit sa loob pa ng isang araw? madami pa namang araw ah?! hahahahahaha! pilosopo lang po.. senxa na.

::nasa pag-iisip ng tao. kung ano man ang iniisip natin ay siyang maaaring mangyari. dahil inisip natin, ginusto natin iyon..