tama ba ang ginawa ko?

i miss ym so i signed in..without even realizing na hindi ako invi..c GOD tlga..playful! haha.

"BUZZ!" "BUZZ!"

oh crap! a big mistake!...though i thought it'll be the usual..but no.

"xa:ei hehe..musta."

sbi na eh..always make sure that you are invisible specially at your state ryt now! so the conversation goes on...lalala..

"xa: haha.. pahinga ka, so wla ka na pasok bukas?"

what? agen? ano daw ggwin ko? wat? i never heard that since last year i guess. and i thought i was fine. so it's not the right time for that..argh..

"zel: pasalamat ka. :P

xa: ang galing! haha tanx.

xa:savior tlga kita kahit saan. :-P

zel: haha..ntawa nmn ako dun!

xa:hehe.. ur my savior...! :))

zel: tgilan mo ko noh!

xa: savior!

zel: hnd k tlga ttgil? ang kulit mo tlga khit anong mngyri noh?!

xa: hehe xempre.. hehe

xa:savior,, papalitan ko na sa phone ko pangalan mo.. nakalagay.."

i never expected that..so that's what he thinks..honestly, i dont know what to feel about this..it seems to me n un na nga tlga ang role ko..nakakalungkot.. pero hnd ko tlga alam..ang gulo.

"zel: pero minsan ba naisip mo na nagalit ako sau?

xa: oo.....

zel: tlga? kelan?

xa: nung sa paper ko sa fil 25..bkit?

zel: wla nmn..

xa: bkit nga?

zel: wla nmn.......tma ka."

this started everything...ewan ko kung anong nakain ko that i had the courage to ask..but i know i got to do this..to clear things and to have a better friendship maybe? or to have a better ending?

this is just the start of that conversation..mahaba pa ito. to sum up every thing... he is sensitive enough to feel, but he's not that brave to face me and say sorry at least. maraming bagay ang nasagot and with those answered questions things may never be the same as before (i just dont know if that would be a good one)...i got my faults din..and im sorry.

realization: we're both afraid.

ryt?

"see you around.. if we will"

it was the last week..

and a lot of things happened. aside from the excruciating examinations, i know that it would the last week for us. i thought i would be sad, but in my surprise the last day of that last week was the happiest part of the week.

for that one whole week...i was put into test.

and I've made a realization.. ever since things started..God wanted me to see one thing. i don't deserve you. looking back, I've realize why those things happened..why there were a lot of delays..why there were a lot of conflicts..why there were a lot of long breaks..why the lines are always jammed when it should not be..why everything seems to be wrong though we are trying or at least i am trying to see things in a different perspective..

and just this morning..i finally wished not to see you..He granted that wish with just a snap and honestly... I felt HAPPY. no what ifs...no regrets.. everything just seemed to fall in their right places.. it was the feeling that i was searching for a long time...only if i was not that stubborn to open my eyes..i should have everything fine at the earlier part of this crap sem. things should have been better if i just did.

i was not able to greet you a happy birthday personally, but i guess.. it wont matter anyway if ill just give you a text. happy 19th! :)

sometimes, i always choose to learn the hard way but everytime i have to... i make sure that it's something i'll never forget. i guess that's my best way of learning. and sometimes people have to learn in the hard way, but try not to let the people around you slip away from your life in those learning process..

"see you around..if we will"

:)

GE

another GE ended.. masaya xempre kasi bawas sa load ko..

pero mejo sad din..ewan ko ba..i always feel sad everytime na may matatapos akong ge especially if masaya ung class.. i always enjoy my ge classes..kasi minsan un lang ang nagpapaganda ng sem..it's a reason to get out of the walls of econ..and meet more species of people..meet friends..crushes..and have cool professors...:)

kung ung iba..kpag kukuha ng ge..gsto nila may kasama cla..ako hindi..mas gsto ko na wala akong kilala sa class na yun..tpos bahala na if ill make or break with the people there..dmi din kcng nangyayari sa mga class na un na unexpected eh and nagiging diverse ung environment na magagalawan mo..last sem, i met people na sobrang laugh trip at tlgang npalabas nila ung makulit na hazel. last sem din, i didnt expect na makikilala ko si "crush" from a ge class..at mpapasok ako sa isang kakaibang mundo. mas madami pa nga ata akong kilala from other college than sa econ eh..hehe..

my kas1 ended knina..and sobrang drama/touching nung message ni sir jely (guy prof) dun sa last part nung exam..prang nakakainis tuloy na matatapos na ung class..considering it is a kasaysayan class..who would have thought that it would give a big impact..nakakaantok tlga tong class na to..pero it's the people that made the class..a WHAM!

especial mention sa aking mga groupmates: Justine, Koko, Beth and Joyce! (mga kasama ko sa pagiging haggard! and the "paglapit sa apo days" haha..thanx guys!) and xempre sa 11 na taong sumama sa lecture trip sa cavite...hehe.. :)