tired.

i've been inside my room for the whole day today..studying or rather..trying to study for a crucial exam tomorrow..a sunday. i hate it! i cant enjoy my weekends everytime we have an exam on a sunday..

actually im on the verge of giving up..two crucial subjects that i might fail..and i am thinking of dropping one..but i just cant..i am so afraid..afraid that mom will get mad and be very disappointed..afraid of what might happen if i didnt drop the subject..afraid of having a bad record..afraid of what other people will say about me. afraid of everything..

sometimes..i feel that i am one loser in this world..because it seems that i cant prove my self..i cant excell in something extraordinary..i cant even excell in simple things..i cant make my parents proud of what i am doing..i cant be like other girls..i cant be what they expect me to be..i cant make them love me. arghh..loser..

yes..obviously, i am losing my self esteem in this post now.

maybe i am just too tired..too tired of everything.